I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
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Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
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Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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