I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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