mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
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I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
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Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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