I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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