And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
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We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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