I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
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The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
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I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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