Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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