real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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