please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize