Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
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Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
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She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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