I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
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Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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