you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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