I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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