she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize