My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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