hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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