He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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