So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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