i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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