Your face is a jimmy john
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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