She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
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Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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