Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
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Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
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The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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