please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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