Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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