he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize