The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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