He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize