speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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