I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
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Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
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We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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