like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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