apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I did not marry a roomba.
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