remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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