is your mom at the bar?
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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