I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize