hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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