She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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