There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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