He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
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Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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