a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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