The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
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The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
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I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
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I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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