is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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