Do you still have your period?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize