Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize