Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize