I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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