I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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