SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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