Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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