I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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