Your face is a jimmy john
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize